


Hurt

by jimmoriartyisthebestboss



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Gets a Hug, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers Feels, M/M, Music, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Captain America: The First Avenger, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 19:15:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18610795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jimmoriartyisthebestboss/pseuds/jimmoriartyisthebestboss
Summary: When Steve is away on a mission one day, Bucky Barnes decides to try to understand Steve Rogers enjoyment of Johnny Cash's music. What Bucky finds is a song that speaks to his soul.





	Hurt

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> First off, the title is taken from the song Hurt by Johnny Cash. This song was what inspired this fan fiction and you can listen to it [here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt1Pwfnh5pc) At the time of writing this, I was watching the movie Walk the Line a lot and listening to some of Johnny Cash's music. This song seemed to speak to both Bucky and Steve to me.
> 
> Fun fact: I actually don't like country music. I'm definitely a more rock/K-Pop type of person. Johnny Cash is my exception.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy!

Bucky could never understand what Steve’s obsession was with the singer Johnny Cash. Part of it was that Bucky didn’t feel he was a country person although Steve was always quick to point out that Cash was considered rock first and foremost. Bucky had smiled and patted Steve’s arm, slipping past him to go listen to some of the music he has come to love.

This song however. This song spoke to his soul and hit deep into his gut. Bucky sits on the edge of the bed, the music floating through the hidden speakers in the ceiling. Steve was out on a mission and had left Bucky behind. Bucky wandered their apartment at T’Challa’s occasionally going out to work out but mostly locking himself away.  


That was when Bucky decided to run through Steve’s playlist on the machine that controlled the whole apartment. Bucky had clicked on Johnny Cash, trying to find some reason for Steve’s love of Cash’s music. The song Hurt, a cover of another bands song it said, stood out to him and Bucky clicked it.

It starts off slow with the strumming of a guitar. Bucky almost clicks away when the lyrics floated through the speakers. _I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that’s real._ His fingers freeze above the screen and he set the machine aside.

The words float over him and he feels the pain in the words. Cash’s words ring through the room and the haunting melody burrows into Bucky’s soul. _And you could have it all, my empire of dirt, I will let you down, I will make you hurt._ Tears slip down Bucky’s face as he doubles over himself, bracing his arms on his knees.

Bucky doesn’t know that Steve stands in the doorway watching him. Bucky doesn’t see the pain that flits through Steve’s face as he comes forward to put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder.

Bucky looks up, tears still streaming down his face. _What have I become my sweetest friend? Everyone I know goes away in the end. And you could have it all, my empire of dirt, I will let you down, I will make you hurt. If I could start again a million miles away, I would keep myself, I would find a way._ Slowly, Bucky leans into Steve’s side as the song comes to an end. Bucky had only started feeling safe enough to touch Steve. This ultimate trust of leaning against Steve was new and tentative but Bucky can’t stop it.  


Bucky can’t stop the shaking and the crying as he grasps at Steve’s outfit. The Captain America outfit bunches under Bucky’s fingers and he cries harder.

Bucky cries until his body hurts from shaking with the tears and his eyes sing. Bucky Barnes cried for the years he has lost and the friend who he has hurt. He cries for the man who wraps his arms around Bucky now and slides to the floor with him. The tears come as Steve makes soothing noises and buries his head into Bucky’s hair.  


Tears fall from Steve’s eyes, dirt and blood coming loose as the tears fall into Bucky’s hair. They don’t need to speak as the song speaks to each part of their souls. For Bucky it is a song of a Winter Soldier, forced to kill and hurt until he was saved by his best friend. For Steve, the song of a kid from Brooklyn who became a superhero and gave it all away for love.

So, they sit on the floor, crying in each other’s arms. They don’t know how long they sit there or when they decide to move. Steve goes off to shower and Bucky makes tea. Bucky enters the bedroom and places the mug down on Steve’s side. Bucky slips past Steve as he went to shower. After they have both changed into comfortable pajamas, they crawl into bed and lay together.

It doesn’t matter that it was the middle of the day. It doesn’t matter that their tea grew cold or that Steve is covered in nicks and bruises. What matters in that moment was that two friends, two people who love each other more than anything in this world, have found each other again.


End file.
